


The One Where Hank Is Pretty Fly (For a White Guy)

by roxashasboxers



Category: X-Men: First Class (2011) - Fandom
Genre: Alcohol, Alex is not drunk enough for this, Charles isn't even in this and I still feel like it's somehow his fault, Drunkenness, F/M, Gen, Hank is a terribly hilarious drunk, Ignore the inconsistant ages, M/M, Originally Posted on LiveJournal, Pre-Beast Hank, Vomiting, X-Men First Class Kink Meme
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2010-07-23
Updated: 2010-07-23
Packaged: 2017-12-09 12:07:45
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,317
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/774018
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/roxashasboxers/pseuds/roxashasboxers
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Fill for a prompt on the X-Men: First Class Kink Meme: Hello kink meme! It's my birthday today, and as I'm turning 21 in an alcohol-free house on a Sunday of no alcohol sales, I'd love to have a chance to live vicariously through one of our X-men celebrating their own coming of age. With alcohol, if my previous sentence didn't make that clear enough. I have no preference as to whose birthday it is, what characters you involve, or any ships that may appear. Let a character get wasted, and have fun! </p><p>Or, Hank gets drunk for the first time on his twenty-first birthday. Alex doesn't have a clue what to think of it all.</p>
            </blockquote>





	The One Where Hank Is Pretty Fly (For a White Guy)

"Hey Sean! Have you seen the birthday boy?" Alex asks, having lost track of Hank somewhere on the dance floor. Sean shrugs, shaking his head.

"Sorry man! Been a little busy!" He grins, eyes darting between the two girls grinding against him before returning to Alex's with a wink.  
  
Alex nods appreciatively, "Yeah, I can see that."  
  
Sean smirks, shifting his attention back to the scantily clad and obviously drunk women.  
  
Alex shakes his head with a grin and continues on his search. He doesn't need to look long though.  
  
"Go Hank! Go Hank! Go Hank!" Alex turns at the sound of a boisterous crowd. He pushes through the wall of bodies until he can see the reason they're all cheering. Hank is at the end of the bar, a long line of empty shot glasses in front of him. He pumps his fist triumphantly as he downs the last one and the surrounding crowd whoops loudly in response.   
  
"What the...?" Alex mutters, gaping as Hank climbs up onto the bar and shimmies. A crowd of girls screams and Hank winks down at them, swaying from the sudden change in elevation. He runs his hands down his chest playfully, hips swinging and dear god, he's not seriously gonna...?   
  
Okay, he is.  
  
Hank pulls his belt free from the last loop, snapping it. The crowd cheers, Hank sashays, and Alex... well, Alex doesn't really do anything. For the first time, he doesn't have the slightest clue  _what_  to do. One of his best friends (Alex doesn't know very many people, okay?) performing a drunken strip tease in one of the most popular clubs in New York is not something he'd ever felt the need to be prepared for.  
  
But thinking on the spot is kind of his thing, so he figures, what the hell?   
  
"Hank!" He calls out, sparking the large group into renewed cheering at the sound of their newfound idol's name.

"Go Hank! Go Hank! Go Hank!"  
  
Hank whoops, snapping the straps of his suspenders, completely unaware of Alex.  
  
 _Well, that didn't work._  Alex huffs, eyes following Hank' hips against his will.  
  
He swallows. Since when can nerd-boy Hank move like that? All fluid and loose, like the music has taken over his body. He may as well be grinding with the air, hips thrusting into nothing. Hank dips low and the surrounding group cheers, drinks raised in some sort of salute of approval. His shirt rides up to reveal surprisingly taut abs as he straightens and Alex watches, mesmerized, as sweat trickles down Hank's body.  
  
"You got a little drool there." A voice says and Alex jumps. He turns to see Raven grinning at him.  
  
"Shut up and help me get him down before he does something stupid."  
  
"Before?" Raven asks, "Alex, I think that ship has sailed." Raven nods towards their friend and Alex's eyes widen when he sees that Hank is  _removing his shirt_.  
  
Alex groans. Tonight was not going as planned. They were just supposed to get Hank drunk enough to relax and loosen up, maybe even dance a little. Nowhere in the plan was Hank supposed to start stripping.  _Nowhere!_  
  
Raven laughs and Alex is beginning to suspect that she may actually be a little less than sober herself. He doesn't dwell on this though, because at that exact moment, some girl hands Hank a bottle of water, which he proceeds to chug, small rivers running down his chin and throat. His hips never still and the surrounding crowd grows louder, cheers of intoxicated appreciation filling the air.  
  
After drinking half of the bottle, Hank dumps the remainder on his head. He shakes his wet hair, grinning as the girls scream in response.  
  
Alex's mouth goes dry.  
  
"Damn." Raven says. Alex nods dumbly. 'Damn' is right.  
  
Trails of water drip from both Hank's hair and mouth, and Alex distantly wonders where Hank's glasses are, but then the taller boy runs a hand down his chest and cups himself teasingly, and any hint of thought is chased away.  
  
One of the surrounding women heaves herself onto the bar at her friends' insistence. Hank helps her up and she thanks him with a giggle before starting to dance. With his new alcohol-fueled confidence, Hank pulls her close, grinding their hips together and Alex sees the girl's eyes widen happily.  
  
Fucking skank.  
  
Hank leads their movements, the sway of his hips contagious and hypnotic. Alex is so focused on that, he misses whatever it is that Raven sees, only hears her gasp in anticipatory horror before he hears the scream.  
  
The room falls silent aside from pounding techno and the shrieking girl on the bar who is now covered in Hank's vomit. She continues to wail and several of the bar patrons hand her tissues and napkins but don't actually make any effort to help that would require skin contact. Hank, on the other hand, starts to hop off the bar only to fall awkwardly to the floor, and the crowd jumps away as if he is contagious.  
  
Alex sighs. Tonight was definitely not going as planned.  
  
"Time to go?" Raven asks.  
  
Alex nods, "Looks like it, yeah."  
  


* * *

  
"I feel disgusting," Hank complains as they exit the bar.  
  
"Yeah, I'm sure that girl feels a whole lot worse right now," Raven responds and attempts to pass Hank his glasses. He snickers, unaware, and Raven pockets them instead.  
  
"Why? Does she look like Alex?" Hank asks, doubling over in laughter. Raven stops walking while she waits for the scientist to get himself under control. She shares a look with Alex, who would be offended but all he can think is that Hank looks so fucking sexy right now. Those long legs, secretly defined muscles, miles of smooth skin and-  
  
"Dude, where the hell is your shirt?" Alex asks, suddenly realizing that this is not one of the fantasies he'll be having for the rest of his life and Hank doesn't usually walk around half naked in the real world.  
  
Hank shrugs, leaning into Raven sleepily. She stumbles under the sudden addition of weight and Alex quickly pulls Hank tight against him to lighten the load. Which seemed like a good idea just seconds ago, when he wasn't pressed up against Hank's bare chest and listening to his heavy breathing.  
  
"I think some bitch stole it," Raven explains, looking past Hank to answer Alex. "He's gonna be upset tomorrow when he realizes his belt is missing too."  
  
Alex looks down, noting that Raven is not lying and Hank's belt is long gone. He drags his eyes away, hyper-aware of how Hank's jeans slide lower and lower on his hips with every step. Raven smirks knowingly. Alex ignores her.  
  
"You guys are groovy," Hank drawls, "Like, super groovy. I totally dig you guys."  
  
"We dig you too, Hank," Raven answers with a roll of her eyes, smiling softly.  
  
"Yeah, man," Alex echoes, voice a little harsher than he'd like.  
  


* * *

  
"Hey Hank! Good night?" Raven teases.  _Loudly._  
  
"I hate you all..." Hank mumbles into the table.  
  
Raven laughs. "You were the one who swore you could take care of yourself."  
  
Hank doesn't answer so Raven goes to the fridge for some juice. Pouring herself a glass, she asks, "So... what  _do_ you remember?"  
  
Hank lifts his head slowly. "Some guy bet he could down more shots than me. I won."  
  
"That's it?" Raven asks, hiding her smirk behind her glass.  
  
Hank nods, winces when the movement makes his headache flare. "Yeah...Why?"  
  
Raven shrugs. "No reason. Just that you are my favorite drunk person ever. Better than Charles, even."  
  
"Yeah?" Hank asks, waiting for the punchline.  
  
"Yeah." Raven nods, pushing off from the counter. She pauses, thoughtfully. "You know, Alex seemed to like it too."  
  
Hank glares at Raven and she giggles, exiting the room. Hank hears her gasp a moment later.

"Oh shit. Alex! We forgot Sean!"  
  



End file.
